27 Things That Happen at My Pool. Every Freaking Day

I love having a pool. It’s like an instant party all summer long. And if there’s one thing I love, it’s a party. And if there’s another thing I love, it’s relaxing.

Having a pool means having people over all the time. Which I also totally love. I can’t imagine what summer would be like without a pool.

The kids splashing away. Laughing with one another. Creating memories to last a lifetime. If only Norman Rockwell was here to paint this freaking picture.

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Goggles. The bane of my existence. 
Here’s what an actual relaxing day at my pool sounds like…

1. Get all kids in bathing suits and all lubed up with sunblock.

2. Someone “calls” the good goggles. We’re still inside. A fight ensues.

3. Get everyone in their floaties.

4. Text the neighbors and tell them pool’s open.

5. Someone asks me to adjust their goggles.

6. Remind all of the darlings not to jump off the ladder. And not to pee in the pool.

7. Yell at someone for jumping off the ladder.

8. Someone has to pee.

9. Someone asks me to make their goggles bigger. Because they were born with an unfortunate misshapen head.

10. Can someone come over? Um, there’s already 15 kids in the pool.

11. I’m bored.

12. Someone sprays sunblock in their eyes. Someone who isn’t supposed to be touching the spray sunblock.

13. Can you make these googles smaller? Apparently someone’s mom smoked throughout her pregnancy with this small headed child.

14. Someone starts crying because someone got them wet. In a pool.

15. I’m thirsty.

16. I’m too hot.

17. I’m too cold.

18. I can’t find any goggles. Do you know where any goggles are? No, but I’ll tell you where you can stick the goggles when you find them.

19. I need a towel.

20. I don’t want that towel. I want the pink towel. With the yellow flower.

21. Someone stole my goggles.

22. My towel is wet.

23. I’m hungry.

24. Someone is not sharing the goggles.

25. Someone wants to change into a new bathing suit because theirs got wet.

26. Someone is screaming because someone else is splashing.

27. I adjust another pair of goggles. For another freaking head.

All of this happens in the first seven minutes that we are outside.

The rest of the time is spent “watching” them. Mom watch me. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Watch me. Watch me. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Watch this. Mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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