You are currently viewing As a Teacher, The Last Thing I Need in My Classroom is a Freaking Gun.

As a Teacher, The Last Thing I Need in My Classroom is a Freaking Gun.

You want to give me a gun? Have you met me? Have you met any teacher, ever? Spend one day in a CPS school and see if you still feel the same way.

Think of all of the teachers you’ve had in your life. Would you have wanted all of them to be armed with a deadly weapon? I’ll be the first to admit that I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but none of this makes sense to me. This is not what I signed up for.

Think about it

Twenty years ago I was trying to decide if I should become a police officer or go back to school to become a teacher. No one, not one single person who knew me, thought I would make a good police officer. One of the main reasons was I was too afraid to handle a gun. It’s not me. I’m not a gun person.

On the other hand, if you give me some dry erase markers and some transparencies, I’ll teach the F out of some kids. These are my weapons of mass destruction. This is the hardware I was trained to use. These are the supplies I need to be locked and loaded to teach.

I can hardly handle a stapler without incident. Let alone a gun. But you should see my arsenal of highlighters and post-its. That’s all the ammunition I need to be an amazing teacher.

I made the right decision. But now that arming teachers is being considered, I am nervous. I just have so many unanswered freaking questions.

So where exactly am I supposed to keep a gun? Am I supposed to wear it on my person? Because leggings don’t generally come with pockets. And I really don’t need to draw any more attention to my waistline, or lack there of, wearing a holster.


And who in God’s name is going to pay for all of this? My gun? My ammo? My training? My new heat packing wardrobe? Will this be covered in my union dues? That was hard to type because I was laughing so hard.

And I’m not supposed to worry about a student trying to disarm me? Last year we had a female 6th grade student who kept stealing fruit and yogurt parfaits right out of the teachers lounge. It took us days and endless security camera footage to get her to confess. What’s to stop someone that bold from stealing my gun?

And what happens when there’s a sub? Do I just leave my gun with my lesson plans? Or would subs have their very own guns? I’ve met a lot of subs over the years. I’ve often wondered how some of them tie their own shoes in the morning let alone obtain a sub card.

But now they’re going to be carrying a firearm?

What could possibly go wrong?

buellerAnd is anyone out there at all concerned that a teacher is going to lose their sh!t and kill someone? I’ve seen some pretty loose cannons in my career. All it takes is that one kid that works your damn nerves all day, everyday. You want to pair that recipe for disaster with a loaded gun?

And what about co-workers who already don’t get along? What about the next time someone forgets to replace the copy paper? Dead. What about the next time someone doesn’t use proper bathroom etiquette? Dead. What about the next time someone leaves their dishes in the sink like their mom will be by to clean them? Dead.

I have four kids at home. I do not want a gun in my home because I believe it could do more harm than good. I think the chances of a horrible accident is way more likely to happen than me stopping a home invasion. I feel the same way about my classroom.

I’m not sure what the answer is. But me having a gun in my classroom is not it.

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