For the Love of God. Suicide is Not Taking The Easy Way Out!

When you have the flu, you feel horrible. You lie in bed in the fetal position. You don't try to hide it from everyone. You don't try to deal with it all on your own. You let others know that you're sick and that you need their help. When the flu knocks the socks right off of you, you run to the doctor, talk openly about your symptoms and have no problem taking any medication the doctor prescribes. Because you don't want to feel that lousy anymore. You want to…

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Life Without Cable Is Not Worth Living

About two years ago we cut the cord. The cable cord. We didn't need cable. Our lives were so much more than television. We'd be able to spend more quality time with each other. As a freaking family. Cutting the umbilical cord was easier, but those scissors they use are amazingly sharp. I could use a pair of those in my kitchen I was going to get back to reading every night. Well the nights I didn't drink. So about every other night. But still, this was going to be…

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Read more about the article All Teachers Suck. And Should Be Fired. And Stoned to Death.
This is teachers. Living high on the hog.

All Teachers Suck. And Should Be Fired. And Stoned to Death.

I have been reading a lot about what is happening to the public school system in Chicago. Because I'm a teacher and have too much time on my hands. I always read the comments that follow an article. And I have to tell you, the people who wrote these comments are the ones who should be running the show. Their thought provoking, in-depth opinions are exactly what we need to save this sinking ship of a school system. As always, I have not edited any of the comments. For your…

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Different is the New Normal

I have a friend who is changing the world. One kind gesture at a time. Her name is Kerry and she is an absolute inspiration to me as a woman, as a mom, and as a friend. I met Kerry at a play school class for kids with special needs. My son was born with 22q11.2 Deletion Syndrome. 22q is a chromosomal disorder that results in poor development of several body systems.The syndrome can cause heart defects, poor immune system function, a cleft palate, and low levels of calcium in the…

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Why Am I So Technologically Challenged?

It's 2016. And I feel like my Dad. Why do I have such a problem with technology? I'm 38. I should be rocking all these modern day advances. But I'm not. Not even close. When I was a kid I knew how to operate that VCR like no one's business. I can remember the pride I saw in my father's eyes when I could put a VHS in and generate a motion picture. I distinctly remember him regaling his friends with stories about how I could "make that machine work''.…

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My Husband Had His Labia Repaired. Bless His Heart.

Beau hurt his shoulder and had to go under the knife. The first thing I had to do was remember the correct pronunciation of his injury. When I would tell people he was having his labia reconstructed, they would gasp in horror. Turns out Beau doesn't have a labia, but he does have a labrum. And it was in need of repairing. I spent weeks preparing myself for the worst. When Beau has the sniffles, it's hard to deal with. Let alone full on surgery. He actually told me about…

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The Top 7 Reasons My Kids Cried. This Week.

I remember my Dad telling me a story that in the old days there were people who were professional mourners. It was just some light conversation we had while standing at my mom's casket. But apparently there were people you could hire to mourn at a wake or funeral. I could have made a career of this. So maybe that's where my kids get it. My kids are professional criers. They're really, really good at it. Except it doesn't pay well. And it actually sucks the life right out of…

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The Kids Are Sick. The Struggle Is Real.

As I have mentioned, I was home for two years with my kids. I did not enjoy it. I was desperate to be out of the house working again. All that being said, the only good thing about being a stay-at-home mom is when your kids get sick. It's the one thing I no longer had to worry about. Beau also had it made with me at home because he never had to take a day off with a sick child or ever give it a second thought. Bless his heart.…

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Making of a Stay-At-Home Mom. I Was Steven Avery.

Like 99% of the world, I just finished watching the Netflix documentary, Making of a Murderer. And it has changed my life, obvi. I know what it feels like to be Steven Avery. Having your entire life turned upside down. Having everything you've worked for just ripped away from you. For two years I was held against my will at home by my four kids. I lost a job that I loved and was just sort of forced into being a stay-at-home mom. I was a prisoner in my own home. By no fault of…

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The 5 Reasons You Need To Log Off While Drinking

Once upon a time, you could get drunk and the only people who would know about it were the people getting drunk with you. In that same room. That's all. And chances are no one would remember the next day so there was no shame involved. Then the telephone was invented. And soon after, the drunk dial became every binge drinker's worst nightmare. You could go out and get star spangled hammered and come home and somehow think calling your ex-boyfriend was a good idea. For years the drunk dial…

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You Never Want to Say “Hey, Bomber!” on a Plane

According to the Mayo Clinic, Pyloric stenosis is an uncommon condition affecting the opening (pylorus) between the stomach and small intestine in infants. The pylorus is a muscular valve that holds food in the stomach until it is ready for the next stage in the digestive process. In pyloric stenosis, the pylorus muscles thicken, blocking food from entering the baby's small intestine. Pyloric stenosis can lead to forceful vomiting, dehydration and weight loss. Babies with this condition may seem to always be hungry. Pyloric stenosis can be fixed with surgery. I…

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My Mom is Drunk, That’s Why She is So Happy

When we were kids there was nothing we looked forward to more than going to a family party. Being able to hang out with our cousins all night was the best. And if we got really lucky we would get to have a sleepover together at the end of the night. When we were really little, I just remember that my mom and dad were very inclined to agree to anything as the night went on. But thought nothing much of it. I just thought it was awesome and I…

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