Sciatica: What a Pain in the Ass

The last two weeks have been a pain in my ass. Literally. I woke up two weeks ago to find my left leg completely numb from my buttocks to my toes. It was annoying, but didn't interfere with my lifestyle of pool parties and drinking, so it wasn't that big of a deal. Yet. As the week went on, I started experiencing pain. In my ass. A pain I was familiar with from when I was pregnant. It was definitely my sciatic nerve shooting right through my left butt cheek and down…

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The Time Aunt Batsy Wore a Tiara to a Funeral

I spend a lot of time with my Aunt Batsy. I go to her house several times a week for breakfast or lunch. Sometimes just coffee. Most of the time I bring the kids. She likes to make ice cream sundaes at ten in the morning, so they like going there. Her pantry is full of Cheetos and potato chips and cookies. She only buys Oreos nowadays because someone told her that every kid can eat them because no kids are allergic to Oreos. She keeps them right next to…

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The Progression: Your First Child to Your Last Child

I love how the times have changed. When I had my first baby, I took exactly one million pictures of him. From the moment he was out of my womb, the camera was flashing on him. Capturing every single goo-goo-ga-ga.  Every single first. His first poopy diaper. His first spit-up. He even had to have emergency surgery at five weeks old. All caught on film. I was crazed. I couldn't get enough. I plastered the walls with these pics. They are still the only pics on my walls. Even though…

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Our New Pet: Shelly the Freaking Turtle

I'm not much of a pet person. I had dogs growing up, but wasn't really into them. We had a few goldfish here and there. But I find animals to be pretty gross in general. And after hatching chicks right here in my own dining room, I vowed we would never have a pet ever again. Never. Ever. I can hardly take care of myself, let alone Beau and four kids. Throw in an animal and something's gotta give. This summer, that something is Shelly the Turtle. At my son's…

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The Day I Became A Mom and How It Changed My Life

Nine years ago tomorrow my life changed forever. I gave birth to my first child. I cannot believe it's been nine years. It was an amazing day. And I love to relive all the moments each year on this day. I never took any classes to prepare for the birthing process. I figured the baby would come out one way or another. And it did. My birth plan consisted of having my two coaches there by my side. Beau and Shelly. Beau because he was probably the father of the…

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I’m a Yankee Doodle Dandy!

I couldn't let this holiday go by without sending it a shout out. I love celebrating the Fourth of July. It's such fun time of year. No presents to buy. It's no one's big day, yet everyone's big day. We're celebrating us. As Americans. One big happy freaking family. There are parades and barbecues and coolers full of drinks. It's so laid back and fun. You just can't go wrong. We had a few years there where celebrating the fourth wasn't that fun. Too many babies. They would go to…

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If Only They Had Lived

I doubt a day goes by that I don't think about what it would be like if my parents were still alive. Sometimes at night when my mind is racing and I can't sleep, I daydream about what it would be like to wake up in the morning and take my kids over to their house for breakfast. It makes me happy. Instead, we wake up and get donuts and go to the cemetery. Which is super fun, too. We'll be driving in the car and the kids will all ask if…

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It’s a Hard Knock Life for Moms

Each year, every winter seems to get longer and colder and snowier. I look so forward to that first day of Spring. The real first day when you can actually open all of the windows in the house and let the fresh air in. It's such an amazing feeling. The only part that sucks about it is then the entire Goddamn neighborhood can hear me yelling at my kids. It takes a few times before you realize your rage is not being trapped in the privacy of your own home by closed windows.…

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First Moon Party: Every PreTeens Worst Nightmare

The latest video that is going viral on the internet is killing me. So many memories came flooding back. Flowing back, if you will. It's about a girl who fakes her first menses because all of her friends have gotten it and she feels left out. Her mom finds out about her little red lie and decides to completely humiliate her and throws her a "First Moon" party. A party to celebrate her coming of age. It's freaking hysterical. The depths the mother goes to is remarkable. It made me understand what…

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Dating a Married Man: One Mom’s Story

The other day my friend posed a question on Facebook. How often do you and your husband go on dates? She made the post in a group for moms, so it generated a lot of responses from women in the same situation. Women that are trying to balance work, home, families, and still make time for their marriage. It all came down to what your definition of a date is.  As per usual, I learned a lot from this Facebook post. My first thought was never. Beau and I hardly ever go out on a date, just the…

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Friends Don’t Let Friends Text Alone

I am a huge fan of the group text. I like to take a funny pic or a witty quip and send it to my different little groups. Whether it be my cousins group, my girlfriends group, my guyfriends group, my triangle, or my DPSers. It's important that we all stay connected. And it's nice to have a convo without actually having to talk. Cause ain't nobody got time for that. There are people in my life that wouldn't still be a part of my life if it weren't for texting. There…

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Vacation, All I Ever Wanted

It's always nice to go away, but even nicer to come home. That's what my grandma used to always say. It's now obvious to me that she had never been to Hilton Head, South Carolina. I know her and my grandpa went back to Ireland once and she tripped over a cow and broke both of her arms. She had casts on both arms up to her shoulders. So I guess that's why she liked that saying, because who the hell wouldn't want to come home after that? Jaysus! She also…

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