Everyone Is Really Courageous, When Hiding Behind Their Keyboard.

There is nothing I love more than kicking another mom when she's down. It's so fun. It makes me feel so much better about myself. I just love letting the world know how superior I am to everyone else. While sitting at home alone. Basking in the warm glow of my computer screen. It's called keyboard courage. And apparently, it's highly contagious. When a first time mom writes a frantic post on The Book asking a question like only a first-timer can, I can't type fast enough. I like to…

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Girls Night Out: Bad Moms Christmas Style

Last week I had an awesome experience. I got to see the Bad Moms Christmas premiere with a group of my besties. Then, the next day, Shelly and I were invited to interview the stars of the movie. I mean no bigs. Just a normal Monday/Tuesday in our lives. We're totally used to starting our week off on a Monday night with an open bar and swag bags. Like total movie stars. And then waking up on a Tuesday morning and going to one of the fanciest hotels in downtown…

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Sexual Harassment. Enough is Freaking Enough.

The movie 9 to 5 was made in 1980. That's thirty-seven years ago. Thirty-seven years and it feels like nothing has changed. I have been reflecting this past week on sexual harassment. I have been absolutely shocked by the allegations from so many women against Harvey Weinstein. I can remember being in high school and a grown man putting his hands on my shoulders and rubbing them. I still remember how gross it made me feel. But I didn't know what to do. Another instance was at the same place…

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Please Stop Telling Kids What to Wear and Who to Be. Just Let Them Be Kids.

My cousin Shelly called me last night to tell me about a story she saw on the news. There is a little girl in Indiana that wanted to make her first communion wearing a suit instead of a dress. You heard me. This little 9 year-old girl had the gall to want to wear pants. Pants. In public. On one of the holiest days of her life. She was told she could not wear the suit because she has a vagina and she would have to wear a dress or…

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My Mom Has Been Dead 15 Years. And I Remember Every Waking Moment.

There are certain days of the year that I dread. And no matter what preventative measures I take, these dreaded days come. And they don't seem to get all that easier. The absolute worst day of my calendar year is October 7th. And there is no avoiding it. It comes the same time each year. Day after October 6th. Day before October 8th. Every freaking year. The deathiversary of my mom. The deathiversary is the one day each year that I relive every single second of the day my mom…

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What It’s Like to be the Daughter of a Blogger (Who Thinks She’s Super Famous)

This is not written by Eileen Barrins\O’Connor.  This does not have any swears or calling anyone names in it. It is written by Mimi Barrins. (her favorite child) 5 things my mom always yells... #1: Shut your damn mouth!!!!!!!!! #2: Downstairs or outside?! #3: I am trying to write!! #4: Find my computer! #5: Get out of my room! When my dad hears my mom yelling, he always yells, too. Bless his heart. What My Mom and Dad are Like They are always yelling. They are always going on walks (to get…

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My Husband Went to the Grocery Store. Bless His Heart.

A few of my besties and I were chatting the other day. And it just so happened to be over some wine. We got on the subject of the hubses, as we often do. Bless their hearts. Merriam-Webster's online dictionary defines a martyr as: a person who pretends to suffer or who exaggerates suffering in order to get praise or sympathy. I do the grocery shopping. I budget the money for it. I know what everyone likes. I know what stores have the best of everything. After doing it for so…

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And Just Like That. I’ve Turned Into My Mom.

It has been twelve years since we got married. Twelve years since we moved into this house. I honestly can't believe it's been that long. Sometimes when I look in the rear view mirror I think, who the hell are these kids? And why are they so damn loud? Sometimes I feel so young. I'm somewhere in my mid-twenties maybe. I drive around and in my head I'm thinking people look at me and must think I'm the nanny. She's way too young and cool to have all those kids…

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What It’s Like To Spend Four Days Drinking in a Carnival Beer Garden

Heaven. It's like heaven. Fasten your seat belts. It is upon us. The parish carnival starts today. It's called Fisher Fest. And it's four fun-filled, action-packed days of rides, cotton candy, games, and booze. It doesn't get any better than this. The Carni rolled into town on Monday and you can smell the excitement in the air. It's party time. We have driven past everyday so far, to make sure all the rides are where they are supposed to be. We have even searched YouTube to watch what the new…

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If You’re a CPS Teacher In September, You’re Hangry and Broke. But Not Alone.

Up until a few years ago CPS teachers got their pay spread out through the entire year. Then it was taken away. So in order to have money over the summer we had to learn how to save throughout the year. And then make it last throughout the summer. Sounds easy. But it's not. At least for me it isn't. And for most of my friends it isn't either. So this is what it's like to be a CPS teacher in the month of September. Breakfast: Toast. With Butter. Lunch:…

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Actually, Stilettos Are Not the Most Practical Choice in a Hurricane. For Realz.

For the love of God. People need to calm the F down. Earlier today I posted a pic of Melania Trump wearing stiletto heels getting on a plane to visit Texas to survey the hurricane damage. It was merely an observation. I found it to be not the most practical form of footwear for a hurricane. That's it. Nothing more. Nothing less. It was not a political statement. Not in any way, shape, or form. It was a fashion statement. And a bold one at that. I think Melania Trump…

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Bye Kids! Don’t Let the Door Hit You in the Ass!

For moms and dads, this might be the most glorious time of year. Getting the kids out of the house. For hours on end. Not having to worry about where they are because you know. They're at school. They're not going to be ringing the doorbell as I'm trying to write, yelling, let me back in! There will be no begging for food ten minutes after breakfast is served. There will be no one telling me it's too hot out to swim (one of my personal faves). And whoever the…

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