Dating a Married Man: One Mom’s Story

The other day my friend posed a question on Facebook. How often do you and your husband go on dates? She made the post in a group for moms, so it generated a lot of responses from women in the same situation. Women that are trying to balance work, home, families, and still make time for their marriage. It all came down to what your definition of a date is.  As per usual, I learned a lot from this Facebook post.

My first thought was never. Beau and I hardly ever go out on a date, just the two of us. And when I really thought about it, we never dated even when we were dating. We just went out. With other people. And drank. A lot. Sometimes we would go to dinner at a bar that served food. And then meet up with friends later. Sometimes Beau would even pay the entire bill. (I didn’t know he was Dutch when I met him.) But we just weren’t really romantic daters.

Love night.
Love is…date night.

Then came the game changing response that made me feel so much better about our relationship. One mom responded, just opening a bottle of champagne after the kids go to bed counts as a date. Say what? Hold the phone.

You mean to tell me that having a drink together after the kids go to bed constitutes a date? This changes everything. Turns out Beau and I are total whores. We’re serial daters. We go on dates. All. The. Time. We are dateaholics. We date so much we might qualify for a twelve step program.

Turns out, we date several times a week. Sometimes we date with other couples and their kids. Sometimes we date with the neighbors. Sometimes we day date. Especially in the summer. By the pool. Sometimes Beau stands me up and I date by myself. But like the other mom said, a date’s a date.

Dating when married really isn’t that complicated. One mom said her and the hubs went to Sam’s Club together. Alone. And if you go at the right time you really can fill up on those free samples. So that could be considered a dinner date.

The irony of it all is, when we do get some alone time together, we are usually on our phones. We sit across the couch from each other staring into the glowing lights we hold in our palms. Once in a while we pass the phones back and forth to one another. This is how we date. By sharing intimate Facebook moments. And a bottle of wine.

As a matter of fact, Beau is in the other room right now starting our date night without me. And Quint and Shelly are up at the park waiting for us to join them on a double date. Dating while watching the kids play in their championship baseball games. Lots of dating going on in the park tonight. When you’re in love, every night is date night.

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