Dazed or Confused? School’s Out for Summer

This is the absolute greatest time of the year as a teacher. I’m sure everyone’s heard the dumb joke, “What are the three greatest things about teaching? June, July, and August!”. Hardy- har-har. But seriously, a huge perk of becoming a teacher is having your summers off. You count down that last month with more enthusiasm than the students. Way more. Students are like, woohoo, we get to sleep in! No homework! Teachers are like, thank the dear Lord. I didn’t think I was going to live if I had to do that one more day. Teachers NEED the summer off to recharge. To get their heads back in the game. If there was no summer break, there would be no teachers. True story.

I have a cousin named Geri, who counts down the days of summer until school starts again. She is not a teacher (obvi). Her kids are in school full-time and to her and her friends having the kids home sucks. They refer to the kids as the BKs, the buzzkills. I had to ask her about her averson to summer vacay and she summed it up by saying her kids get in the way of their good time. Now that I understood. I never thought about it. I always have someone here. I’ve never been home alone. I never thought about what it will be like to have my kids in school all day, everyday. And to be alone. With my thoughts. With my wine. With my sanity. This changes everything. I suddenly have hope.

I, myself, am looking so forward for summer break to begin. I dread waking my kids up for school. Feeding them. Getting them dressed into clothes they actually want to wear. Finding their God damn shoes. Rushing around to activities after school, all while trying to get them fed (again)and their homework completed and their baths taken so they don’t get the nickname goatbutt. I’m not a get up and go, go,go kinda gal. I’m more of a let’s wake up when we want and put our bathing suits on and move to the yard to sit in the pool, kinda gal. My offspring share my mentality.

I have also turned into the mother that teacher’s hate. So for that reason alone, I need a break. Um, hi mom, we’re going to need a note explaining why your kid was absent yesterday. Oh yeah, I’ll get right on that. Um, hi mom, we’re going to need you to turn in that permission slip for the field trip. Oh yeah, do you have an extra copy of that? I must have misplaced it. When I was the teacher, I was bold enough to roll my eyes right in that incompetent parent’s face. Now, I just look down at the floor, riddled with shame. What has happened to me? Luckily most of the teachers my kids have are awesome and at least don’t humiliate me publicly. And for that I’m grateful. As for what goes on in the teacher’s lounge, well that’s fair game.


Whether you’re a teacher or parent looking forward to summer vacation, or a parent counting down the days until school starts up again so the BKs won’t be all in your business, we all agree on one thing. I said it before, and I’ll say it again. It all comes down to the school lunch. No one likes making the Godforesaken lunches. Even my cousin Geri said she doesn’t like having the kids home all day, but neither does she enjoy the making of the lunches. Teachers have to make their own and probably their kids’ as well. It totally sucks. I couldn’t take it one more day. So I loaded up the kids and went to Walmart. Summer break is coming early for this mom! We stocked the pantry so I do not have to make a lunch for the rest of this school year. I’m pumped. This has been a life changing experience.  If only lunchables were healthy and affordable. But then what would I have to complain about?

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