How Does Two Weeks Off Completely Ruin Me?

New year, new me.

I say it every new year. And I never quite know how I got here. In a matter of two weeks I have completely let myself go. I can no longer wear pants.

Being a teacher, you think, “this is awesome”. Two glorious weeks vacation around the holidays. I’ll get so much accomplished.

I’ll get my house completely organized. I’ll take my kids to all sorts of fun places. I’ll have so much more time to workout.

But that’s never the case. The reality of it is, my house is a freaking mess. I have a tee pee in my living room. My kids stared at electronic devices for two weeks straight, never making eye contact.  And I’m so fat my sweats are tight.

No that's one strong button.
Now that’s one strong button.

I ate my weight in crescent wrapped hot dogs on the daily. And since my weight went up each and every day, so did my buttery, flaky roll consumption.

Having two weeks off sucks. It changes you. I am a hot mess.

I went from a functioning member of society to an overweight raging alcoholic. Two weeks. Two weeks is all it took.

Now I’m here trying to piece my life back together. I’m back in my routine but I’m still struggling. I’m swollen. I’m bloated. I’m hot and sweaty from the two week bender that seeps from my pores.

I’m dehydrated. Even after consuming large amounts of water I still don’t have to pee.

I have nothing to wear. Nothing fits. My fat clothes are tight. My shoes are tight. Even my scarves are tight. It’s not easy keeping all of these chins warm.

I’m also broke. All my money is gone. Because I kept treating myself to the good bottles of wine with it being the holidays and all. It’s no way to live.

But I wouldn’t change any of it for the world. I had such a glorious time with family and friends. And my kids have memories that will last a lifetime. Some of them even good.

And I’m looking forward to doing it all again next December.

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