Sometimes Taking My Kids to the Store Has a Happy Ending. Well, One Time.

So I took my kids to the store the other day. It’s something I try to never do. But I had a little too much fun this past weekend and I didn’t quite get all of my motherly chores accomplished.

I basically only go to the store every two weeks to stock up on a bunch of the unhealthiest food known to man to keep my kids quiet until the next payday.

And it usually works pretty well. When I’m organized. If I have the wherewithal to place an online order and just have it all there waiting for me to pick it up, it’s totally worth it.But most of the time I can’t get my head out of my ass long enough to do that.

I know ordering online sounds easy in theory, but it’s really not. You have to know exactly what you want and search for it. You’re going into it totally blind. Nothing to look at to remind you of what you need. Sometimes I can’t even bring myself to log in.

And this is exactly what happened last weekend. My house was outta control. The cupboards were bare.

So I ended up at this particular store on a Monday. With kids. It’s a place I try to never end up.

Thankfully, I only had two kids in tow. A seven year old and a four year old. The last time the four year old was there, he and his sister went missing. After searching for them for a while, I found them in the refrigerator. Not in the refrigerated section. In the refrigerator.

On the other side of the glass. With a crowd gathered round them. Like a freaking exhibit at the zoo.

No feeding the animals.
Please don’t feed the animals.

I normally don’t use pics of my actual kids. But I had to this time because I couldn’t find another pic in all of cyber space with someone else’s kids playing inside the refrigerated section of a store. Not even at Walmart.

Needless to say, I didn’t bring kids to the store for quite some time. Whenever I’m not in my right frame of mind to do the shopping, nothing good comes of it. This time was no exception.

And the children I had in tow were not the problem. I just wasn’t into it. I didn’t even have a list.

I was just throwing things blindly into the cart. And the kids wouldn’t stop asking for stuff. But they ask for such amazing looking items that I have no problem justifying each and every purchase.

The two bags of Reese Peanut Butter Easter Eggs made so much sense at the time. One kid asked for them and then the other wanted their own bag. Who am I to play favorites?

Truth be told, I would have probably bought them even if I was alone. The only difference would have been if I was alone, I could have hid them when I got home and the kids would never even have known about them.

We got out of the store unscathed. I even grabbed a sixteen inch pizza and a three liter of coke on my way out the door. Dinner will be served in approximately nine city blocks. Boom.

We got home and I unloaded the car. Making no less than twenty trips.  As soon as I got everything shoved into the cabinets and the appropriate hiding places, Beau walks through the door. Like the breath of fresh air that he is. It never fails. Every freaking time. As if he’s watching me.

I slapped a piece of the greasy pepperoni pizza on one of the freshly purchased paper plates. Because he’s the king and this is his castle. After I poured his glass of scotch, I got on with my nightly chores.

Finally everyone was fed, bathed, and tucked into their warm beds. That’s when the real panic set in. They’d be asleep for a few hours, but then they’d be up again and I’d have to get them out the door. But this particular morning would change our lives forever.

That morning after our shopping excursion, the house was eerily quiet. There were no tears. No screaming. No one was in the bathroom, staring at me as I got out of the shower.

Naturally, I assumed the kids finally figured out how to behave themselves and get ready for school. And it was about damn time. So I carried on with my morning routine.

When I finally emerged with my face on and hair blown, I went to investigate. I didn’t have to look far. They were all gathered on the kitchen floor. Around an empty bag of Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs.

The smell of peanut butter took my breath away. There was chocolate everywhere. Melted on their faces and hands. But they were so quiet. It was magical. Like a dream come true.

There were no tears. No screaming. Just the quiet realization that our morning routine had been forever changed.

I got to work early that morning. And every morning since.

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