How Having Kids Will Make You Look Forward to Going to the Dentist

I got a message the other day from my friend Moe. He was telling me how much his life has changed since having kids. He has two small children so a trip to the dentist alone is now a real treat for him. Thought about your blog today. The kids were waking up from naps and I was about to get the change me, feed me, bring me outside, I just woke up I'm cranky attitude from them. But lucky me I had a dentist appointment! I used to hate…

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Grieving the Loss of My Nannie. One Day at a Time.

Dealing with a major loss is never easy. Change is hard. Especially when kids are involved. Losing our nannie for the summer is no exception. I'm not used to taking care of these kids. And this house. I just wasn't prepared for this. I miss walking into a spotless home. I miss coming home to home cooked meals. I miss coming home to all of the laundry folded. The last ten days of the school year were glorious. I had to hire someone to watch these kids for real. They were long…

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There’s Nothing More Painful Than Stepping On A Freaking Lego

It always happens when you least expect it. It can happen in broad daylight. It can happen in the darkness of night. Which always makes it scarier. But the excruciating pain is always the same. Each and every freaking time. Nothing makes me lose my shit like stepping on a freaking Lego. There is just nothing like it. I gave birth four times. I had a major back injury. I watched my parents die slow painful deaths. But nothing, I mean NOTHING, compares to the pain of stepping on a…

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How to Get This Bloated, Apple-Shaped, Postpartum, Borderline Alcoholic Bod That Dreams Are Made Of

The question I get asked the absolute most by people is, "Do you really drink as much as you say you do?" The answer is no. Of course I don't. I could never write about how much I actually drank or my kids and house and liver would be taken away. The second question people always ask is how I maintain this mannish figure after thirty nine years of livin' and vaginally birthing four children. I've decided it's time to share my secrets. It's just not fair to the rest…

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