My Kids are Always Crying. For None Reason.

It never ceases to amaze me what my kids cry about. When they are actually hurting, I actually feel. And I could actually cry with them. If I had any tears left. But 99% of the time my kids cry, it's for none reason. This is something my kids love to say. She just hit me for none reason. He ate my gum for none reason. He peed on the floor for none reason. It's for no reason, you morons. But I don't ever correct them because I'm an awesome…

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Dear Children, Please Stop Flipping Your Flipping Water Bottles

If one more flipping kid flips one more flipping water bottle I'm going to flipping lose it. I thought my kids were all becoming diabetics the way they've been constantly asking for water all summer long. But I finally caught on. They're not drinking the flipping water. They're flipping the flipping water. Bottles. All summer long I've been listening to bottles flipping all over my damn house. It's driving me insane. I make them go outside and I can still hear it on the deck. I can hear it on the…

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