It Takes a Freaking Village to Raise These Kids

We hear it all the time. It takes a village. We can't possibly raise these kids on our own. We need everyone's help. And it's so true. Doing my research for this post I read that Hillary Clinton wrote a book about this subject. And that conservatives went nuts and claimed it doesn't take a village. It takes a family to raise a child. It takes both. Duh. I yell at other people's kids often. And every time I do, I think of how it takes a village. And how…

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HGTV’s Tiny Houses: Size Does Matter

I caught an episode of HGTV's tiny houses show the other night. In between watching Ryan Lochte getting attacked for real and JonBenet specials. And holy crap. I thought my house was small. If I ever got to the point where I wanted to get rid of Beau, I wouldn't hire a hit man. I would just move us into one of those obnoxious tiny houses. That would do it. And there would be no blood on my hands. Sixty-four square feet. Are you effing kidding me? Measurements aren't my…

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Dear Children, Please Stop Flipping Your Flipping Water Bottles

If one more flipping kid flips one more flipping water bottle I'm going to flipping lose it. I thought my kids were all becoming diabetics the way they've been constantly asking for water all summer long. But I finally caught on. They're not drinking the flipping water. They're flipping the flipping water. Bottles. All summer long I've been listening to bottles flipping all over my damn house. It's driving me insane. I make them go outside and I can still hear it on the deck. I can hear it on the…

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Why Doesn’t Anyone Tell You Being a Parent is so Freaking Hard?

Where the hell in all the books I read about becoming a parent was the chapter on how freaking hard it can be? I never thought it would be so hard. I thought it sounded fun. That's why we had four so close in age. It seemed like a great idea at the time. Before they could talk. No one ever once said to me, having kids will literally tear your heart out of our body. You will experience feelings that you never even knew existed. You will lose so…

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I Don’t Care Who You’re Voting For. Really, I Don’t.

I love the month of March. It's still snowing but it doesn't matter because you know it will be warm soon. St. Patrick's Day falls right in the middle of the month, so you're guaranteed a good time. And there's Easter to symbolize new beginnings. It's just a hope filled month. The only thing raining on my South Side Irish parade this year is politics. It's election time in Chicago. The primary is a little over a week away. I don't like primaries. I don't like having so many options.…

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