My Kids are Always Crying. For None Reason.

It never ceases to amaze me what my kids cry about. When they are actually hurting, I actually feel. And I could actually cry with them. If I had any tears left. But 99% of the time my kids cry, it's for none reason. This is something my kids love to say. She just hit me for none reason. He ate my gum for none reason. He peed on the floor for none reason. It's for no reason, you morons. But I don't ever correct them because I'm an awesome…

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I Have So Many Questions for April the Giraffe

Holy Mary Mother of God. Enough with the giraffe already. Whose idea was this to live stream this anyway? And why did it have to start weeks in advance? Jesus, I thought my pregnancies were long. But I have to give mega props to whoever came up with the idea. It really is marketing genius. And this is my absolute fave meme about the entire ordeal. Now that's funny. A giraffe faking a pregnancy to keep her man. I mean we've all done it. Or at least thought about it.…

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