I took Aunt Batsy to the mall. I will shop exclusively online from this moment forward.

Taking Aunt Batsy and three kids to the mall is like entering a burning building. Without a hose. Without oxygen. Yet somehow I survive to tell about it. Just like anyone entering a burning building, I knew my chances were slim. But I still went through with it. Because Aunt Batsy has a freaking coupon. We are only going to Macy's. So I trick myself into thinking it might just be okay. But it wasn't. I'm a really bad tricker. And not only does she have a coupon, but she…

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Teaching kindergarten last period on a Friday. Chill the damn wine.

Whoa. The first few weeks of school. It's been real. To begin, allow me to introduce myself. I am a school counselor. Who teaches Character Education. To children in grades K-8. Now even though this is my absolute dream job, it does come with a few drawbacks. I am forbidden by law to name names, but allow me to paint the picture. I love working with kids in the upper grades. They get me. It's my jam. They laugh politely at my jokes. And roll their eyes at me behind…

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