I Got a Fitbit and It Is All I Will Talk About From This Point Forward

I tend to get obsessed with things. When I get excited about something I jump in with both feet. Like having kids. I had four in under four years. I couldn't get enough. I had four kids and then I was over it. No more. I'm done. Time to move on. My latest obsession is my new Fitbit. I cannot get enough of this little miracle. There is nothing it can't do. It tells me how many steps I take. It tracks my sleep. It tells me how many steps…

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Not A Day Goes By That I Don’t Miss My Mom

There are certain days of the year that I dread. And no matter what preventative measures I take, these dreaded days come. And they don't seem to get all that easier. The absolute worst day of my calendar year is October 7th. And there is no avoiding it. It comes the same time each year. Day after October 6th. Day before October 8th. Every freaking year. The deathiversary of my mom. The deathiversary is the one day each year that I relive every single second of the day my mom…

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Why Doesn’t Anyone Tell You Being a Parent is so Freaking Hard?

Where the hell in all the books I read about becoming a parent was the chapter on how freaking hard it can be? I never thought it would be so hard. I thought it sounded fun. That's why we had four so close in age. It seemed like a great idea at the time. Before they could talk. No one ever once said to me, having kids will literally tear your heart out of our body. You will experience feelings that you never even knew existed. You will lose so…

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Getting the Kids Back To School. The Struggle is Real.

I really, really dread summer coming to an end. The monotony of back to school. The God damn lunches. Four this year. Plus two snacks. Every. Damn. Day. My kids started school yesterday. With just a half day. Followed by another half day today. I go back to work on Monday. So I wasn't expecting much. But holy bajaysus! Have I enjoyed these hours of pure bliss more than I could ever imagine. It's amazing what some alone time can do for your psyche. I'll take you back to Wednesday…

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My Summer Rules for Kids That Refuse to Raise Themselves- Feel Free to Print and Frame

Now that summer is here I feel the need to reiterate some of the basics. In order for us all to survive, I'd like to take this opportunity to go over some of the ground rules. Eating. I don't care what you eat. As long as I don't have to assist you in any way, shape, or form. I'm not cooking. You're old enough to find food in the cabinets and open the packaging yourself. I put a lot of time and effort into the $400 worth of processed food…

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I Have Finally Found the True Meaning in Mother’s Day. Me.

A few weeks ago I got an invitation to attend a Mother's Day Tea and Fashion Show at my daughter's school. My initial thought was I can't go because I have to work. I told my five year-old this. She was upset. Like all my kids are when they ask me to do something and I say I can't. But I always explain that I work to make the money to buy the toys and they're usually okay with this. But this time was different. I really don't know what…

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My Friend Makes the Most Amazing Widow.

May 3rd is National Widow's Day. Now don't get that confused with International Widow's Day. That's on June 23rd. Widows have all the fun. A widow is supposed to be a little old lady. She's supposed to be sweet and tell stories of losing the love of her life after being married for a million years. A widow is not supposed to be in her thirties. But life can be so cruel. I have the most amazing friend named Mamie. She is absolutely hilarious and we have so much fun…

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Going to the ER is Painful. Even When You’re Not the Patient.

I really don't know where to begin with this one. On Friday night my Aunt Batsy called me to tell me she fell. She just had one knee replaced and was coming home from therapy. It was the bad knee that still needs to be replaced that gave out and caused the fall. She said her ankle was swollen and she was in pain. I immediately sent a group text to all of the parties involved. When we got to her house, she acted surprised to see us. She asked…

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Sometimes Taking My Kids to the Store Has a Happy Ending. Well, One Time.

So I took my kids to the store the other day. It's something I try to never do. But I had a little too much fun this past weekend and I didn't quite get all of my motherly chores accomplished. I basically only go to the store every two weeks to stock up on a bunch of the unhealthiest food known to man to keep my kids quiet until the next payday. And it usually works pretty well. When I'm organized. If I have the wherewithal to place an online…

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Life Without Cable Is Not Worth Living

About two years ago we cut the cord. The cable cord. We didn't need cable. Our lives were so much more than television. We'd be able to spend more quality time with each other. As a freaking family. Cutting the umbilical cord was easier, but those scissors they use are amazingly sharp. I could use a pair of those in my kitchen I was going to get back to reading every night. Well the nights I didn't drink. So about every other night. But still, this was going to be…

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The Kids Are Sick. The Struggle Is Real.

As I have mentioned, I was home for two years with my kids. I did not enjoy it. I was desperate to be out of the house working again. All that being said, the only good thing about being a stay-at-home mom is when your kids get sick. It's the one thing I no longer had to worry about. Beau also had it made with me at home because he never had to take a day off with a sick child or ever give it a second thought. Bless his heart.…

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