If I Was Rich I’d Never Get a DUI

I'm writing this in light of Tiger Wood's DUI arrest this weekend. I understand that he was not under the influence of alcohol, but I started writing this before that was made public. And there are plenty other rich and famous people that get DUIs and I just don't understand why. Let's just all thank the dear Lord that I am not rich. Because if I was, I would be the hugest drunk. The only reason I'm not drunk 24/7 now is because I have to drive places. And most…

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If You Want to Babysit Our Kids, You’ll Have to Sign This Contract

When we had four babies at home it was imperative that we have a mature, responsible babysitter. Someone who could formula feed. And change multiple diapers. And put kids in cribs. And microwave hot dogs. But now that these kids are practically grown, the only reason we need a babysitter is so that they don't kill each other. So without further ado.... Dear Future Sitter, If you'd like the honor of babysitting for us there are a couple of ground rules we need to cover. -Our oldest child is in…

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