Three Things I Am Thankful for This Thanksgiving

I like to keep things positive. So here are a few things I’m thankful for this season. In no particular order.

CrunchWrap Supreme

These little gems came into my life at a time when I really needed hope. They taught me that life does go on and that everything will be okay. I have been blessed enough this year to find a recipe to make these life changing meals at home. Taco Bell, I, and my elastic waist pants, thank you.

And the best part is my house now smells just like Taco Bell. It’s like a dream come true. If only I could put that in a candle and light it up.

Heaven, is that you?
Heaven, is that you?

Fitbit

I am thankful that my Fitbit keeps me in line. I love nothing more than lying on the couch and having it remind me what a lazy fat slob I am. “Wanna Stroll?” No I don’t “wanna stroll”. I want to sit. And eat. A lot.

I’m also grateful for the executive at Fitbit for finding my last post about my Fitbit. I thought that I’d finally been discovered. But she, like the Fitbit, only wanted to point out my flaws.

Hi Ellen,

Hope this message finds you well! My name is Melanie and I work on Fitbit’s PR team.

I recently read your article and loved it! Always awesome to hear from a fellow Fitbit fan. I also wanted to quickly clarify Fitbit is spelled without a capital “b.” Would it be possible to update this in the title of your article?

Please feel free to reach out should you have any questions!

Best,

Melanie

Dear Melanie,

I changed it! And my name is spelled Eileen, not Ellen. Well played.

Bester,

Eileen

Prohibition

I have been teaching my class about prohibition. Oh my God. What an eye opener. I am so damn thankful I wasn’t alive during this time in American history.

Most women at the time did not have educations. They stayed home and tended to their husband and children. Without the help of Franzia. I. Can. Not.

One woman we read about in our history books, named Carry Nation, became famous for storming into saloons with a hatchet and smashing liquor bottles. She was quoted as saying, “I threw as hard, and fast as I could, smashing mirrors and bottles and glasses and it was astonishing how quickly it was done.”

This is when a student would raise their hand and ask, “Teacher, why are you crying?”.

Carry Nation and I would not have been friends. But I have never been so thankful to be alive in 2016 than I am right now. Let’s just hope that this little piece of history never repeats itself.

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

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