Tomorrow is a furlough day for me. It’s a day that I cannot come to work and will not get paid. Although I enjoy getting paid, I’m not entirely upset about the no work part.
My kids are all in school full time. They will all be in school tomorrow. And I will be home. Alone. Furloughing.
All. By. Myself.
A few weeks ago my kindergartener and first grader came home with permission slips for a field trip. To see Disney on Ice. I was a bit too overly excited to tell them I could not chaperone this trip. Because the only thing I like on ice is my vodka. And because I had to work that day.
For a brief moment I thought maybe I would take the day off and go with them. I mean they were so sincere in asking. I could tell these little lovies really wanted me there. But then the most amazing thing happened. I came to my senses.
A few days later my decision was made for me. Chicago Public Schools announced teachers would be furloughed for four days. And of course one of the days was the day of the field trip. It took me all of two seconds to decide I would now just have to lie to my kids.
And since I fancy myself a bit of an actress, it was fun. There were tears. There were hugs. Empty promises were made. I lead them to believe I was heartbroken. I had them believing I actually cared.
It was amazing. They were consoling me by the end of my performance. So I took a bow.
Then my phone buzzed. And I knew I was in good company. I had made the right decision.
Every CPS mom I talked to had the same response. It’s bad enough we’re being furloughed. We’re not being furloughed with our kids. And about 120 more. At the Ice Capades.
I love my kids. All of them. Most of the time.
But this furlough day is going to be all about me. I’m going to go out tonight with some friends. Some furloughed, some not.
And I’m going to get drunk. Like bachelorette party drunk. And I’m the bride.
I’m going to get drunk for me. And my fellow furloughed teachers everywhere. Because I’m a freaking doer. I get things done.
I will then get up in the morning and literally push my kids out that door. And then go back to bed. And sleep one off. Like I haven’t slept one off since college.
And my dumb kids will think I’m at work. Because I’m a liar. A damn good one.
And before I get messages telling me what a horrible parent I am, I went on the last kindergarten field trip. So I’m really just trying to give other parents the opportunity to spend some quality time with their children. Because I’m a freaking giver.